Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Let's Talk Tuesday - Dating Your Spouse When You Have Special Needs Children

http://www.trustmeimamom.com/search/label/Let%27s%20Talk%20Tuesday
Let's Talk Tuesday is a bi-weekly series with ideas & resources for promoting healthy speech development for your children (of any ability), but especially those with Apraxia, Autism, speech disorders or late talkers.  I also like to throw in the occasional helpful resource for parents of special needs children.  I am not a speech therapist, but I am a mom of child with Apraxia.  I share these ideas in hopes that they will help someone else.  You can view all of the Let's Talk Tuesday posts here.  

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If you would like to sponsor the Let's Talk Tuesday Series, click here or contact me for more information. 

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If you are married and have special needs children, you know that going out on dates poses many challenges.  If your child's special needs are severe enough, you might not feel comfortable leaving them with anyone.  Or, maybe your child's medical bills are so high, you don't feel like you have the money to go out on dates.  This can cause a tremendous stress on a marriage.  

I don't remember where, but I've heard that parents of special needs children have a higher divorce rate than those who don't have special needs children.  No wonder... it's hard!  Hard financially, hard to find time to work on your relationship, etc!  

It's far too easy to get caught up in plopping down on the couch and watching TV until bedtime (I know I'm often guilty of that)... it's an easy way to unwind, but not a great way to connect with your spouse or make your relationship a priority.  


Here are some ways you can date your spouse at home for free (or almost free) once your kids have gone to bed.  

Take advantage of outdoor space.
I often feel like I need to get out of the house and get some fresh air.  It's not always possible, though.  Rick and I have always liked to go in our back yard at nights.  If it's too cold, we'll bundle up and cuddle in a blanket.  It's the perfect time for us to unplug, relax and connect without any distractions. 

Play a game.
I know you've heard it before, but it can be a great at home date night!  It can bring you closer to your spouse and add an element of fun into your day.  If you want to mix things up, put something up for grabs... the winner gets a night off from doing dishes, maybe!  Our favorite game to play together is Sequence.

Read together.
If you both have a common interest, get a book from the library and read a chapter together each night (or as often as you can).  If you're wanting to be better with your money, read Rich Dad, Poor Dad.  If you're religious, read the bible together.  It might not sound like a fun thing to do to connect, but I bet you'll be surprised if you gave it a try. 

Cuddle in bed.
My favorite part of every day is when Rick and I cuddle and talk in bed at night.  Sometimes it's the only time of the day we get our one on one time... even if we've been together all day.  I can't stress enough how important it is to find time each day to connect with your spouse - to talk and check in with each other... you know that, but it's always good to have a reminder!  

Get takeout.  
Once the kids are in bed, send your hubby out to grab your favorite treat or meal (mine would definitely be a cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory!).  You can grab something from a restaurant, a treat from the grocery store, or heck, you could even make a treat together.  There's something about good food and no kids that is romantic.  Besides, I always love not having to share my treats with the kids... :)

Speaking of takeout...

I reached out to restaurant.com and told them about how hard it can be for special needs parents to go out.  They have generously offered 2 of my readers a $50 Restaurant.com gift certificate!  $50 there will go a long way since they offer such great deals!  

I'm so excited about this, so let's get this party started...

Enter to win!

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Disclaimer: I was not provided with any products for this giveaway.  Only one email per person entering.  All entries will be verified. 

This post contains affiliate links.  

31 comments:

  1. Thanks for the wonderful reminder!!

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  2. Thanks for this, sooo important for us all! It makes such a difference in my marriage when we take time for each other at home or otherwise : )

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  3. This is fantastic!
    For those that are interested there is also a great book I have found that goes along with this article!! It's called Married With Special Needs Children!
    THANKS Trust Me I'm a Mom!

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  4. We pray together. Sometimes it's random, spur of the moment "honey, come pray with me" and sometimes it's end of the day, thankful and how we end our night. It's truly been amazing for us.

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  5. We do try to make time for us....although it can be very difficult, it is good to do since we are always out and about with our daily lives and child!

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  6. To strengthen our marriage we make sure to have some alone time each week to catch up with eachother

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  7. We try to make time for each other once a week to play a game or do something to connect

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  8. Its all about communication and making time for each other.

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  9. I pray daily for my marriage.

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  10. It sounds so simple, but many people I know have so much trouble with this: mean what we say. No hidden meanings or insinuations. We speak our feelings, our ideas and sometimes our thoughts.

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  11. We pray together & we have date nights!

    andysavi.mom@gmail.com

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  12. We make sure to spend sometime each night after our son goes to sleep just to talk about our day. (Some rules: no talking about bills, kid etc.)

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  13. We never go to bed angry at each other. RC name is Denise Davis

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  16. We pray, have date nights and always make sure to communicate with each other.

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  17. I`m unfortunately a widow now, but praying on our knees every night and Friday night date night made our marriage oh so strong!

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  18. We never, ever under any circumstance go to bed mad at each other!

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  19. By not suppressing what needs to be said.

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  20. we take time to ourselves and time together

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  21. we always make time for a date night once a week.

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  22. *give each other at least one genuine compliment a day

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  23. We spend a lot of time together!

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  24. We have a 4 year old with Epilepsy and since she was diagnosed we haven't had much time for ourselves. She even sleeps in bed with us. It's definitely hard but we try to get away for a night every few months. Even if it's just to catch up on sleep.

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  25. We have a 4 year old daughter that has epilepsy. She was diagnosed at 2 1/2 and we have had no time to ourselves since then. She even sleeps in bed with us. Usually one of us ends up sleeping on the couch. We try to get away for a night every few months or so. Or try to get out for a meal by ourselves. But this doesn't happen as much as we would like. We show each other that we love each other by a message or a surprise gift.

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I actually really love it when you comment! ;)

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